Holgate School Honoured in Turkey Circle Re-vamp

Though sadly demolished in 2012, Holgate School's legacy of being one of the most prolific generators of smackheads the country has ever seen is set to be immortalized in a new dedication plaque as part of the upcoming re-vamp of Turkey Circle.

Founded in 1546, for much of its life it was just another school, notable only for its staunch position on staying true to its roots and refusing any attempts at modernisation. With the creation of Kingstone School in the late 80's however, Holgate had to re-evaluate its position as new-applicant figures plummeted; the lure of the electric lighting and biro's of Kingstone had been completely underestimated by the powers that be at Holgate, leaving them on the brink of collapse.

Holgate fought back, however, in a move that would forever define them as true revolutionaries and ensure their place in the history books; they introduced heroin addiction to the curriculum. The school also brought in new measures to help students excel in the subject, such as allowing them to leave the school grounds at dinner time to shoot up, and within a mere six years of its introduction some 80% of students were choosing heroin addiction as one of their final exam topics.

Unfortunately the school was slow to adapt to changing fashions and behaviours, and as heroin fell out of favour in the mid-to-late 2000's, so new-applicant figures went on the decline once again, this time irrecoverably.
In a last ditch attempt at salvation the school splashed out on a brand new suite of state-of-the-art BBC Micro computers, but they kept sliding off the slanted Victorian school desks and were irreparably damaged before they could ever be put to use.

Though Holgate's time at the top was arguably very short-lived, a whole generation of smackheads wouldn't be where they are today were it not for the school's pioneering efforts, and the new dedication plaque is seen by many as a long-overdue mark of gratitude.

Though the date of the official unveiling has yet to be confirmed, the re-vamp of Turkey Circle is due to start in early November and expected to be finished in time for the turning on of the Christmas lights, which this year will be performed by Grammy Award-winning singer/songwriter and founder of another Barnsley School, Edward Sheerien.