Barnsley Council is set to give its taxi service a jolt into the 21st century by replacing the entire fleet with Ford Anglia's.
Speaking to us about the decision, Head of Procurement Dave Spendwell told us "Horse and carts have had their day. They used to be an economical option, as the horses could eat for free on left-over kebabs and we were able to further offset upkeep and maintenance costs by selling the manure to local marijuana growers, but these days it's just too time consuming and costly to separate it from the litter and sick".
The decision to choose the Ford Anglia was made after Mr Spendwell watched "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" and was immediately impressed by its huge passenger capacity and ability to fly- the latter, he noted, being a feature that would be useful in negotiating passed-out locals laying in the road.
The announcement hasn't been welcomed by all, however, with some sceptics concerned that the current fare of £10 per-mile will be increased to pay for the new fleet and eat into their beer money. In response, Mr Spendwell assured us that fares would not be increasing and the scheme would be fully-funded by making the nightly fights in the taxi queue a ticketed event, and that he was in talks with Sky Sports over a licensing deal that would see these added to their pay-per-view rosta.
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