Barnsley Council are to unveil plans to turn the recently-revamped bus station into a museum of local celebrities, after admitting the building currently serves little purpose after SYPTE cancelled all but one bus route in 2011, and with the last remaining vehicle being discovered burnt-out in New Lodge just this week.
It is thought the museum's displays will be split equally between posed photos of former cricket umpire Dickie Bird reading the Barnsley Chronicle and eating dry teacakes while holding his right forefinger aloft, and video screens showing Michael Parkinson asking different celebrities the same safe questions and gushing Barnsley-pride from the comfort of his Berkshire residence.
Debates on whether the building's glass ceiling could withstand audio-loops of Brian Blessed's voice were cut short when someone pointed out that Mexborough, his place of birth, is actually in Doncaster.
Efforts to locate Sam Nixon to request his involvement have so far been fruitless, and the council have asked for anyone who may be in contact with him or know of his whereabouts to please get in touch.
A satirical look at all the news and happenings in the idyllic hamlet of Barnsley
